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Rules support groups for women sprang up around the country. To wit: In bed, "don't be a drill sergeant, demanding that he do this or that. Remember, those are your needs you're concerned about filling, and The Rules are a selfless way of living and handling a relationship." The reader is left wondering when she could finally let her — long! — hair down and be her pushy, needy, authentic self. A subsequent book was The Rules for Marriage.) But what The Rules offered, more than anything, was a strategy.

The book prompted a screaming match on Oprah's show; she devoted a whole episode to the topic of "do The Rules work or don't they? But the overall theme, presented to you as lovingly as your captor might tuck you in at night, is: adjust to men's needs. I was certain, at the age of 26, that my failure to secure a boyfriend meant I was doing something wrong.

Meet Shelley and Steve Shelley is 32 years old and lives in San Diego.

In the past, Shelley’s held two long-term relationships, but she remains single.

This guide compiles tips from experts as well as a number of tips we discovered by questioning folk who've managed to sustain a loving relationship despite prior addiction to drugs and/or alcohol.

By the time you finish reading this handy guide, you will be armed with several strategies for effectively dating somebody who is now in recovery.

I'm from West Virginia: show me a sweaty man with a dangerously overloaded truck, and I'm immediately smitten.

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At first, Shelley is crazy about Steve, but she subsequently discovers Steve is a recovered addict.

Unfortunately, Shelley feels Steve’s prior addiction is due to some sort of moral failing on his part.

When I was 26, in the late 1990s, I met a very handsome man as he was unloading Danish credenzas from his pickup into a vintage-furniture shop he owned in Brooklyn.

I agree not to keep secret from the group anything which occurs within the group.

Anything which occurs between or among any members is part of the group is kept secret from anyone outside of the group but is not kept secret from the group.




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Many of my family have noticed, my father joking that I am only confident if the woman lives on the other side of the planet. My main concern is that I feel like I am insulting the women I know by playing these games and that I am using them as an escape from my lack of connection to said women.


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