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By contrast, finding out about the real reasons why you were rejected can help you grow.

Remember: The question is not “Why would reject you? It’s better to have an idea about the actual reason they rejected you — even if it’s harsh — than it is to waste mental energy worrying endlessly about why they might have rejected you. Many dates spring out of overlapping friend groups.

When we date we tend to view our compatibility with others as obviously subjective: do we have similar lifestyles? We think: I'm objectively less hot than his ex-girlfriend. People end up reading rejection as an outright judgment of their worth.

We've all been dumped — and we've all dumped someone else — and unless you and your ex count your relationship in decades or adopted a bunch of kids together, it's probably for the best. But when we get rejected we perceive that rejection, irrationally, as objective. It doesn't feel great, but there are millions of amazing people in the world.

(CNN) -- Online dating seems like the pinnacle of modernity, an online meat market where glassy-eyed humans browse possible suitors, sorted for ease of shopping by size, shape and moral fabric. " Along with this savanna comes permission to do stuff that'd get you a drink in the face I. Sure, online dating could benefit from a protocol overhaul in terms of courtesy, but begging everyone to change the rules this late in the game would be stupid.

So advanced does it appear, so streamlined and slick-interfaced and "Jetsons"-esque, that it's easy to overlook a very basic truth: Online dating is the freaking savanna. As in, early humans tearing around the open grasslands without much regard for courtship courtesy. Instead, we'd like to tell you, starry-eyed romantics with big dreams of finding love: Toughen up. Stop weeping onto your keyboard in the online quest for love.

Editor's note: Brenna Ehrlich and Andrea Bartz are the sarcastic brains behind humor blog and book Stuff Hipsters Hate.

These can be personal goals met, adversities overcome at work, self-expression achieved through art, or the contribution made by helping others.When you get rejected and you’re only given a vague explanation, it’s tempting to start filling in the gaps with your own insecurities like “Oh, it’s because I’m ugly.” In Psychological terms, you’re doing something called “projecting,” which means that you’re guessing what Projection is an error in thinking, and it often leads you to form terribly inaccurate conclusions about where other people are coming from.Projection keeps you stuck in a cycle of worry and rejection, and deepens your insecurities unnecessarily.Save your sobbing for the disappointment of bad first dates, seemingly perfect mates who can't commit and the Ones Who Get Away. The Offense: After reading Suitor X's profile, you are convinced you two are going to fall in love and wander through tulip fields while Louis Armstrong songs waft from some invisible speaker.You send off a digital epistle, a perfectly worded blend of snark and flirtatiousness ("Oh, my God, I like 'Witch House' too.




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