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It bolstered my confidence for dating.” Claudia Barnett needed some alone time to heal before seeking a new relationship.

“Your marriage has died; you need to grieve that loss,” Barnett says.

After a divorce, getting back into the dating game isn’t as easy as getting back on a bike for the first time.

For those whose marriages lasted just a few years, becoming “single and ready to mingle” can sometimes be easier than someone who has spent a decade or more wed.

Dating does not have to mean having sex with people when you are not ready.

But you can meet for coffee or you can have dinner.

You can stay in your pajamas and watch chick flicks on Netflix, or you can get up early and run non-stop all day. The longer you wait, the more scared you are to enter the dating world, especially if you were married a long time and enjoyed the comfort and security of a loving relationship.

Now that I have, I’ve come to the realization that I waited too long.

I think it’s important to take time to heal from divorce.

People need time to adjust to the major changes that divorce brings: different living situations, moving, financial struggles, and having to share time with your kids. It’s the death of your hopes, dreams, and beliefs that you will spend the rest of your life with your spouse. It’s wise to wait a year or so, so that you can evaluate your life, take inventory of who you are, change the things about you that you don’t like, and discover what exactly you’re looking for in a partner.

Thus, the moment you begin dating after divorce (especially after a long marriage) is the moment you face the fact that you are human and you have needs. Until you start dating, some people probably will never move on, and can remain emotionally and psychologically chained to their past, indefinitely.

Frankly speaking, nobody is saying you have to start sleeping around.




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